Trust

Trust is one of the biggest aspects of my job. To work with someone closely and help run their business requires trust from both sides. So what do you do when trust is broken in your personal life? I think that sharing our truth as individuals can help with self-development and healing. So if you find it easier to write it down somewhere rather than talk to someone directly, then I say go for it. You never know who you can inspire. I’m sharing about this because it’s something that I’m exploring deeply within myself and it is showing up in my life as a challenge.

I’ve written this post in response to a quote I posted on my Instagram page. “The bravest thing you will ever do is love again”. So my question is, how do you learn to trust again when you’ve been blindsided. You question yourself for being so trusting with people. You ask yourself was I that easy to manipulate? Was I just completely blind or just stupid? Why did my intuition not kick in sooner to warn me?

Arggggggggg! It even feels vulnerable writing this on here, but this isn’t all about me. This can be a deep core wound for so many of us as individuals.

What I have come to realise is that when people break trust, it’s nothing to do with you. It’s nothing you have done wrong. The other person could be unable or afraid to communicate what they want for fear of rejection. And when the bond of trust is broken, 9 times out of 10 it’s hard to fix that between people. Because without trust, fear rules.

One thing I’ve learnt about myself the past few months is that the trust I use to have for people has been tarnished by one recent event in my life. So to get out of this untrusting state of mind, I’ve been doing some deep enquiry within myself, because I don’t want to repeat and replay old unhealed pain patterns in any relationship I have in the future. It’s important to me that going into any relationship, romantic or friendship, is that I do the inner work first. To be able to show up differently in any partnership, I need to know myself intimately.

Although I don’t like that I have allowed someone to make me feel like this, it is ultimately up to me to change and rise above. When you’re a very trusting person by nature, when you always see the good in people, it’s a horrible feeling to be like this. To question people, to have a guard up, to not let yourself be open for new possibilities. It frustrates the hell out of me. So I’m committed to not let one event skew my view and work on being myself again.

Being aware of this way of thinking and acknowledging it is something a lot of people don’t do. Instead, you play movies in your head of how someone is going to take advantage of you. You predict betrayal. The fear and anticipation of pain keeps the trust issues alive, giving them newfound relevance.

So if you want to move forward with your life and have relationships that are fulfilling, loving and deeply connected, then do the work and free your mind. Your heart and soul will thank you later.